Montreal Monkeyfucker Mullet

 

You like that alliteration?  What's that, you say?  Take off that monkeyfucker hat?  Nope, no hat...just tryin to look like Pepé Le Pew.  Davy Crockett wannabes are rare, unless you're a West Virginia Mountaineer fan.  No king of the wild frontier here...just a smells-like-poo 'do on the public transportation circuit in Canada.

Whole Foods

 

A good old fashioned Whole Foods hipster mullet.  The hat is covering the biznass, but you know it's there.

I drop the 'w' and 'l' and call it Hoe Foods, for obvious reasons.

Las Vegas Souvenir Shop

The inverse duck tail mullet...with blonde tips for fuck's sake.  Because that extra manure hangin from the back isn't noticeable enough already.

 

Mall Kiosk

Another shitlock mullet!?  The one earlier this year can be seen here.  Yowza...I need to play the lottery.  Then I could buy all the mullet wigs I want...and Hennessy.

 

SXSW

This mullet is almost as American as the Budweiser in his hand.

Seems like he had just the goofy college shag, then when he graduated, let just the bottom grow out.  GOOD LUCK GETTING A REAL JOB.

Nightclub

Like a mix between Billy Ray Cyrus and Vanilla Ice.  And he looks about as nervous as Billy Ray on Bring Your Daughter to Work Day.

 

HEB

On his daily run to the drug shop...because there's no way one could be sober with a haircut like that.

H-town Bar

The girl in the background has the same expression as I did...yowza!

Keepin it trill in 2016. 

 

Barton Springs Pool

I hunted this one myself at the local watering hole and didn't know what the hell I was seeing.  After some reflection, I will dub this the 'shitlock mullet.'  Not quite the traditional dreadlocks, but just a few super long turds hanging from the back of the head.  Glorious...but mostly horrendous.

 

Music Show

Looks to be a dude with a hot pink mullet to coincidentally match her hot pink tips.  Just the tips.

Hunters take note:  if you can put yourself in the pic, you are on your way to baller status in my eyes.  Examples here and here.

Happy berfday, homegirl!

 

Airport

Trying to keep alive that 70s Skynyrd life...classy leather briefcase sold separately.

"Ted Nugent called and he wants his shirt back."

 

Bronx Bar

I always receive high quality mullet snaps from Htown, as shown above.  This one captured in Rice Village.  Diversification in a big city brings diverse mullets....and nasty goats.

 

Sixth Street

Wondering why they call it 'D-D-Dirty Dirty 6th?!'  Perhaps this is evidence of such tricks you can find in said area of the overgrowing ATX.

Remember, kids...use protection.

 

Mall

This looks to me like a sloppy joe mullet.  Creeping out the old women walking the mall for exercise.  Poor bastard.

 

Haymaker

Makin that hay at your friendly neighborhood Haymaker.

"Cuz it's the first of tha month...wake up wake up..."